Marriage is different after kids.
I 100% believe that your relationship with your spouse should take priority over the kids, but it is a hard thing to put into practice when the kids demand so much of my attention. My husband doesn’t need me to feed him or wipe his butt (yet! 🤣) but the baby does. My husband doesn’t need me to check his homework, but our 6 year old does. He doesn’t need me to do his laundry, but the kids do. And, of course, on top of tending to the kids, in order to be a “good mom” I’m supposed to make time for self care as well. What time is left over for marriage?
Well, the truth is that marriage doesn’t work on leftover time. It only works when it’s the priority. Five months ago, we had 1 kid and 2 incomes; now we have 2 kids and 1 income. Needless to say, we’re in an adjustment period.
There’s nothing really wrong; we’re just trying to find our new normal and find time for each other again. Time to watch “our show” (Blindspot), talk about something other than household logistics, or have a laugh together….time to be us again.
Date night is different after kids, too.
To my delight, my husband asked me out on a date last week! He was looking through some flyers we received in the mail and noticed a Burger King coupon for 2 breakfast combos for $5. Maybe we don’t have the time we used to have, but do we at least have time for breakfast? We sure do.
So, this morning we went on our “date.” I met him at BK after dropping our oldest off at school. We had the baby with us, but she cooperated and was super calm and allowed us to talk and reconnect for the entirety of our meal. (Maybe Burger King is her jam. 😁)
It wasn’t a fancy, candlelit dinner or an evening at the theater, but it was a reminder that WE are important and that WE can find time for US. It doesn’t have to be all about the kids, and it doesn’t have to be all about us as individuals. We can still do this couple thing. So, if you’re feeling disconnected from your spouse this evening, just remember, you can relight the 🔥 with something as simple as a Croissan’wich and a follow up text. A little kiss goodbye in the parking lot never hurt anyone either…. 😍💖😍
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