My two new favorite TV series of this Spring season are Whiskey Cavalier (ABC) and The Enemy Within (NBC). Though they are totally different in style and tone, both feature a male FBI agent and a female CIA operative working together to track down leads, solve crimes, and catch the bad guys.
Spending all this time in the Situation Room got me thinking about how mom life is a lot like spy life. Besides the obvious, which is that we have to sometimes actually spy on our kids to monitor their cell phone and social media usage, here are a few not -so-obvious ways that being a mom is like being in the CIA:
1. You have multiple identities.
Everyone knows moms wear a million hats – teacher, nurse, chef, maid, etc. – but have you ever thought about how many other people we pretend to be and how exhausting it is? You’ve got to have eggs and candy on hand when you’re filling in for the Easter Bunny, cash in the house when you’re impersonating the Tooth Fairy, and gifts that will generate lifelong memories when you’re posing as Santa.
Unfortunately, the pretending doesn’t stop when your kids outgrow fairy tales….one day you’re pretending to enjoy being on the PTA and the next you’re pretending not to have a panic attack as you hand over the car keys to your 16-year-old for the first time! Have a glass of wine, mama, and try not to have a nervous breakdown as you remember who you truly are – a highly skilled professional who can totally handle this!
2. You speak several different languages.
Whether you’re deciphering the reason for your baby’s cries or desperately trying to decode your teenager’s sighs, being a mom requires advanced communication skills. You have a unique relationship with each child and speak to them in a unique way. Furthermore, that communication style changes with each stage of a child’s development; you aspire to respond to everything from “goo-goo ga-ga” to “I hate you. You’re ruining my life!” with poise and grace, though (of course) sometimes things breakdown and devolve into shouting matches. Throw in several different Love Languages under one roof and all of sudden you feel like you need a U.N. Interpreter just to get through the weekend. Take heart! No one is listening to you anyway!
3. You have a hidden stash somewhere.
The first stop for an operative on the run is usually to pick up her burn bag – a portable stash of passports, cash in varying currencies, and disposable cell phones. Your stash might not be as elaborate, but I KNOW you’ve got something hidden somewhere in your house that helps you maintain your sanity, something that’s just for you that you don’t have to share with anyone. My guess? Chocolate.
4. You go into hiding on a regular basis.
As much as you love your kids, you have to take regular breaks from them in order to not lose yourself. You may lock yourself in the closet for five minutes (to eat that hidden chocolate), hide in the garage to make a phone call, or step out for a pedicure with your girlfriends, but either way, your family has to realize that there are times when mommy needs to go off the grid for a while (or “go dark” as Jack Bauer used to say on 24) and that’s just how it’s going to be. See you later, alligators!
5. You’re in this for life.
Being a mom and being an intelligence officer may be different in a myriad of ways, but they both require courage, loyalty, and commitment. Just as an operative’s love for his or her country doesn’t stop at resignation or retirement, a mom is still loving, worrying about, and praying for her kiddos long after they move out of the house. At the end of the day, our kids know that there will always be someone to leave a light on for them, someone who is always watching out for them no matter how far they fly or how much they may try to push us away. And that’s no special spycraft secret – just a common trick of this beautiful, messy, glorious trade.
Recommended Reading:
Tom Clancy gave us Jack Ryan and Vince Flynn brought Mitch Rapp to life, but my favorite fictional spy is Daniel Silva’s Israeli agent, Gabriel Allon. Visit Fantastic Fiction for a complete list of the series in order!
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